The lack of public phones
3 August 2009As I write this, a man has been run over by a car outside and is lying unconscious in the street. I will take him some tea and biscuits as soon as I tell you about my own mishap. It was back when I was a rookie biscuit eater, and sat on my KitKat, breaking it uncleanly. However when I phoned the ambulance, they wouldn’t even come out to put it in a proper splint. I was furious. But the switchboard moron was obviously a biscuit hater ( Which should be classed as a form of Hate crime if you ask me).
So now I get my revenge by raising false alarms and such. I do this from public phone boxes of course, but the lack of public phones is a disgrace. The government has not got joined up thinking. Now, back to the casualty outside. lets see, I’ll make him tea with a star of chocolate fingers on a saucer. All on a nice tray. Milk, sugar the lot.
