Archive for 'Uncategorized'
trial and error
15 November 2009So there I was, going through a court trial for assaulting and 2 old cranks. (I had nibbled a tea biscuit into the shape of a yacht, and they were rudely uninterested).Sitting in the dock listening to piles of kak, hearing the same sympathy mantra over and over, when I got the sudden urge for the world [...]
To all you good people
13 August 2009So there I was, outside, burning copies of the Andrew Lloyd webber songbook, when the door to door biscuit salesman arrived up the path. Now there’s a man with a good work ethic, I thought. Doing something worthwhile, delivering a nice product. It felt a shame to take his case of wares and tie him up, [...]
The Jaffa “Cake” Debate.
7 August 2009The age-old debate about whether a Jaffa Cake is indeed a cake or a biscuit has as I’ve recently learned been through Parliament. It’s officially classed as a cake at the moment and therefore under a lower tax bracket than if it were a biscuit. If the Government had their way it would be reclassed [...]
The lack of public phones
3 August 2009As I write this, a man has been run over by a car outside and is lying unconscious in the street. I will take him some tea and biscuits as soon as I tell you about my own mishap. It was back when I was a rookie biscuit eater, and sat on my KitKat, breaking [...]
