Is Green The New Black?
9 December 2007I’ve never really understood fashion. A pair of jeans, a jumper and trainers are my whack and I can’t really see that changing in the future. I’ve no idea what the ‘new black’ is, (nor do I know what that actually means) and the only new style I eagerly anticipate is next Scotland home top, which is released in February.
The above is why, when I set up a new magazine section for our Girlznight website, I decided to leave it to the experts. I’ve recruited several writers from across the globe to give their views on the latest catwalk trends and to tell us all what’s hot this season. To give them a quick name check, Tia, Su, Becky, Parni, Ann and Missy are doing a grand job.
I will be contributing to the site, but fortunately on a topic I feel more qualified to write about. I’ll be doing a weekly article called “A Male Perspective”, which will give a mans view on the crazy world of women. My first two articles are The Wonderful Sound of Silence, which looks at the female tendency to ‘natter on’ and We’re Not Built For Shopping, which looks at the male hell which is a Saturday afternoon spent shopping with the Mrs.
Attentive browsers of our magazine may notice that there is a name missing from my list of contributors above, that of Sal. Can you guess why 
England
22 November 2007So, England are out. Scant consolation, but consolation nonetheless.
McLaren must stay.
Gutted
19 November 2007Absolutely gutted. That’s all I can say right now.
Scotland v Italy Tomorrow
16 November 2007So, here we are on the eve of the biggest match in Scotland’s recent footballing history.
The build up and hype has been incredible. Every newspaper, pub and club in the land has jumped on the bandwagon and whilst there will always be those that ask “Where were you when we were sh***”, it was great to walk down Sauchiehall Street this morning and see Saltires flying from every window.
It seems like a long time ago now that I was sitting in Hampden in the dark days of friendly defeats to the likes of Hungary and Australia. I think the lowest point of all was a defeat by Austria on a cold Wednesday night with just 9,000 of us bothering to turn up. Hampden was like a grave yard that night.
Despite his obvious failings, it’s good to see that Berti Vogts doesn’t harbour any ill feelings and wishes us well for the game. I guess he was well renumerated for his efforts…
These days the demand for Scotland tickets is unbelievable and Hampden could probably have sold out twice over. I was offered £250 for my ticket last week, but I wouldn’t part with my seat in the North Stand for 10 times that amount. This is the game that can finally see us emerge again as a force in world football. The 2 games against the French, the Ukraine game, they’ve all been leading up to this point.
There are those who say that if we don’t make it then we can look back on a successful campaign and be glad of the improvement we have made. After all, we have jumped from 4th seeds for this campaign, to at least 2nd seeds for the World Cup qualifying draw next week.
Yes, before a ball was kicked we would have taken third place in the group, but to have got so close and miss out now would be devastating. No one will remember the nearly men when it all kicks off in Austria and Switzerland next Summer. It would be a total injustice to all the players who have put so much into getting us into this position to be sitting watching the tournament on the TV. Not to mention I want a holiday in the alps…
Can we do it? Yes, we can.
In recent years at Hampden we’ve beaten France, we’ve beaten Holland and 2 years ago we came within 10 minutes of beating the Italians. We have a full strength team available, the atmosphere will be incredible and the players will know that they are 90 minutes away from becoming Scottish heroes. If we can keep the game tight and nick a goal then as we have shown in recent games that we have learned how to defend a lead.
It`s for this reason that I think James McFadden may start on the bench on Saturday, coming on around the 60 minute mark after Kenny Miller has tired the Italians with his running. I believe the starting line up will be: -
Gordon
Hutton McManus Weir Naysmith
Hartley
Brown Fletcher Ferguson (c) McCulloch
Miller
So, my prediction. 2-1 Scotland, with Miller getting the first and McFadden scoring the winner around the 80 minute mark. Alba Gu Braith!
Zubay Passes Away
9 November 2007I’m really sad to say that my cat Zubay passed away this week. She had been suffering from kidney problems for a while and they finally failed last weekend. She survived until Monday, but the vet said she would not recover and the best thing would be to put her to sleep.
She was a great cat, really affectionate and never happier than when she was lounging in front of the fire. She also loved sitting with us when we were recording or playing ISS and loved tucking in to chippy chips and Wotsits.
Zubay was 17, which is a good age for a cat I guess, but it doesn’t make it any easier and she will be sadly missed 
Thin Denim Site
9 November 2007I’ve finally got round to whacking together a corporate site for Thin Denim. It’s only taken a year…
Staying on the theme of completing overdue projects, I’ve also finished Party Tricks For Dogs and tomorrow shall hopefully see the completion of our Scotland song. I’ll be posting it online once its done, perhaps we can take on Runrig….
51 Ways To Avoid Trick Or Treaters
30 October 2007Halloween is here again and if you are anything like me you will do anything to avoid trick or treaters. Here is a list I have compiled with suggestions to help keep the little scamps away from your door. Feel free to add to the list!
1) The pub is your friend
2) Catch the 7.00 showing of that film you have a slight interest in seeing at the cinema
3) Disconnect your door bell
4) Arm your door with nails, or similar stabbing weapons to avoid knocking
5) Sellotape your letter box
6) Turn your stereo/telly up really loud and pretend you don’t hear, or alternatively: -
7) Hide behind the couch and pretend you are not in
9) Move to an unpopulated island
10) Develop a reputation in your street as a loner/odd ball
11) Move to a country where Halloween is not celebrated
12) Work late
13) Advertise the fact that you have a highly contagious tropical disease
14) Get a big “Beware of the dog” sign
15) Back it up with dog barking/growling sound effects
16) Erect a barbed wire fence
17) Put a “wet paint” sign on your fence
18) Work night shift
19) Visit a late night supermarket between 7 and 10pm
20) If during the year a ball is kicked into your garden, do not give it back
21) Pay your annual visit to the gym
22) Get arrested during the day
23) If 14 and 15 didn’t do the trick, then why not actually buy a big dog
24) Borrow a big dog off your mate John. If you don’t have a mate called John, another mate will do.
24) Construct your house out of gingerbread
25) Turn off all your lights
26) Have a really bad personal hygiene problem and make sure everyone in your street knows about it
27) Construct a moat. Fill with crocodiles if possible.
28) Start a religious sect or cult and try and recruit every parent you meet in the month leading up to Halloween
29) Spray any kids that pass with a hose
30) Get committed
31) Pretend you are in mourning. Black suit, black curtains and chopping some large onions should do the trick
32) Board up your windows
33) Put up a “Danger, condemned building” sign
34) Move into a top floor flat
35) Stand at your window, in full view of everyone holding a doll. Stab the doll repeatedly with a knife while staring wildly.
36) Tell everyone you shoot trespassers
37) Get a fake shotgun to back this claim
38) Take up badger watching
39) Fake your own death the day before
40) Lock your gate/fence
41) Put slippery oil or small ball bearings on your garden path
42) Banana skins will also do the trick
43) Cross dress
44) Get a really viscious cat to sip on your door step. Allow it to sharpen its claws on your couch for at least a week before
45) If your name is John Smith, get the nicname Peter “Scrooge” Smith.
46) Peter “Psycho” Smith will also do
47) Rig your door bell to deliver an electric shock instead of ringing
48) Pray for heavy, heavy rain
49) Create a national emergency, which necessitates a curfew
50) Wrap your entire home and garden in cling film
51) Join the army and get called away on a tour of duty
That’s about all I can think of just now… but I may have some more tomorrow. Good luck in avoiding those trick or treaters!
Rugby World Cup
19 October 2007
I have five things to say on the subject: -
Egg chasers
Peanut Huggers
Prawn Sandwich eaters
No one cares
Rugby shmugby
Could Virgin Radio please stop going on about England in the Rugby World Cup final. I feel like throwing my computer (I am internet radio listener) through the window every time their stupid “Swing Low Sweet Chariot” advert comes on. It’s not as if rugby is even a truly global game, half of the matches in the elite of the world cup are the equivalent to Brazil (the yellow one, not the blue one) versus Montrose.
Come on the South Africans.
Thin Denim Highland Games
16 October 2007We never miss an opportunity for a funny Photoshop at Thin Denim and as I’m currently working on a new site for The Gathering 2009, the chance of myself and the German appearing in our very own Highland games was just too tempting. Voila!
France v Scotland (Part 3)
15 October 2007Continued from France v Scotland (Part 2)
So, the day of the game had arrived.
Myself and THYB woke early, around 7.30 am and decided to get up, get ourselves sorted and out for a McDonald’s breakfast. A gentle kick and the King Of Bebo awoke from his royal slumbers. Bovril however was curled in the foetal position and not for moving, so we left him to his drunken dreams. What his dreams were at this point I can’t say for sure, although I did hear him mumbling something about Darren Fletcher, Minnie Mouse and a goat - make of that what you will.
We were just about to head out to find a Mickey D’s, when the helpful Frenchman at the reception asked us if we were having breakfast. We decided to take him up on his offer and indulged in a hearty continental breakfast, with Croissants, Cereal and several strong coffees to clear the head. Très bon.
After breakfasting, with the clock creaking round to 9am we decided it was high time for our first pint of the day. We walked round to Place De Clichy and spotted a bar, which seemed reasonable at only £7 + 3 years of hard labour a pint.
I decided to test my French again and bought a copy of L’Equipe from a newspaper stand to read while I enjoyed my beer, hoping it may take my mind off the cost. Sadly it only compounded my misery as I realised that, not only was I skint, but my French was at best useless. On a more positive note I had some excellent banter with the French guy at the stall, about the impending game. When I say excellent banter, he spoke a load of French, I nodded and said “Oui” a lot. It seemed to do the trick though as he promised to buy me a beer if we won (this bit I understood).
We drained our beer and headed back to the hotel to see if Bovril had entered the land of the living. Fortunately he had started to make some sense and at least one eye was open, so with a combined effort we managed to get him up and out the door. Next stop, The Eiffel Tower, La Tour Eiffel, The Big Pylon to meet up with the rest of the Scottish invasion.
